3 Tips on Self-Love & Relationship Readiness

By?J. Cameron Gantt

When it comes to?love?and?relationships, the fabulous Earth Kitt once said ?It?s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.?

These are some of the things that keep many singles on what I like to call a ?hamster wheel? of bad relationships and it all stems from not being comfortable in your own skin. We all crave companionship in some form and we all deserve to a shot at finding love but the truth is, until you can master the art of?loving yourself, you will never be able to love or accept love from anyone else.

Luckily, it?s never too late to start nurturing the relationship you have with yourself and it?s never too late to start using that energy to attract a healthy, authentic and fulfilling relationship with someone else.

Be Honest
If you can?t be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with others? Honesty is important for any genuine relationship, especially the one we have with ourselves. Sometimes, I think that we forget to separate the fantasy of what we want from the reality of what we need. As a result, we find ourselves lost, confused and sometimes desperate looking for a way out. This is the point where people usually find themselves stuck because instead of focusing on the root of the problem, they are focusing on the quick fix.

The truth can be scary, but you have to take the good with the bad and own it. If it?s a positive truth, then live by it. If it?s a negative truth, then you have the option of either working towards changing it or working towards accepting it.

This honesty will bring you clarity within yourself and will also allow you to be more honest and clear about what you need in a relationship.

Stop, Look and Listen!
Pay attention to your actions and reactions. It easy for us to get distracted with responsibilities and find ourselves stuck on autopilot. A lot of times, I find that people get caught up taking on responsibilities and emotions that really serve them no purpose. It?s wasted energy.

Everything you do should serve your purpose. If you find yourself in a place where you feel like you are just going through the motions, take a time out to stop and reevaluate things. No matter how big or small the task at hand or how major or minor the info you are receiving, ask yourself: How will my actions or reaction to this situation serve my purpose?

Eliminate The Negative Self-Talk
We all have our good days and bad days and sometimes, insecurities can get the better of us. It would be unrealistic to say that you should never have a bad day ever. It just doesn?t work that way and anyone who says that they are 100% confident all the time has a good poker face.

A lot of confidence issues stem from comparisons we make between ourselves and the lives of those we know. Those comparisons are reinforced with negative self-talk and that talk is what tricks us into thinking that we are not good enough.

When you find yourself lost in a sea of negative self-talk, just replace it with positive talk. Look at your accomplishments, big or small, and celebrate them. If something is really bothering you, transform that bad juju into productive energy and get to work on changing that situation.

When you do get into a relationship, you will be better equipped to?love?that person, flaws and all.

via YourTango

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Source: http://www.ericrobersonmusic.com/2012/11/28/3-tips-on-self-love-relationship-readiness/

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